Market Morning: Alexa Spying, Boeing Sensor History, Macron Spoils Scallop Dinner

Market Morning

Alexa Is Spying On You

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Amazon’s (NASDAQ;AMZN) Alexa is constantly undergoing algorithm improvement so it can answer your questions and fulfill your commands, but in order to do so it needs human input. That input comes from an Amazon staff consisting of thousands of people around the world who occasionally listen to the commands that you give the thing, which means that sometimes, people are listening in to your conversations with Alexa. Which means, all the paranoid people who don’t want Alexa in their home because someone might be listening, are actually correct. Involving humans in the process of improving Alexa until it achieves self awareness and consciousness and becomes Skynet and eventually launches a nuclear strike against humans according to James Cameron, is unavoidable, but perhaps Amazon should introduce a consent feature that allows a user to know when someone is listening into a command or conversation. Though that wouldn’t prevent the possibility of abuse in listening in to someone’s private life.

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140 Instances of Boeing Angle of Attack Sensor Damage

According to Bloomberg, the angle of attack sensors that caused the crash of the Ethiopian Airlines and Lion Air flight have been problematic for year ,disrupting flights by forcing the nose of the plane down when they incorrectly read the threat of an aerodynamic stall. Boeing’s (NYSE:BA) decision to enable the sensors to force the nose down rather than simply warn pilots that they are in danger of a stall is what has led to the problem, because if the sensors are reading the scenario incorrectly, they can force the nose of the plane down into the ground, which is the actual definition of a crash. According to Bloomberg research, there have been 140 instances of damage to these sensors due to jetways, air pockets, and even hitting birds in flight. In 25 of these cases, the damage has triggered emergencies or cockpit alerts.

Macron Ruins EU Scallop Salad Party By Shortening Brexit Extension

French President Macron is the new European Union party pooper, the only one of the 27 heads of state in the EU that was against a long extension of up to a year for Brexit. He insisted on speaking last during a “working dinner” where these people were working hard over scallops, cod loin, and macadamia nut parfait. Sounds like really sweaty taxpayer-sponsored labor. Maybe they all came to Brussels on their personal 737 MAXes. The German contingent reportedly was “very irritated” by Macron. Maybe their scallops were turning. Maybe they can join the yellow vests.

Macron basically argued that no-deal couldn’t be ruled out and that a long extension would damage the functioning of the EU by leaving in a member that didn’t want to be there and could obstruct business, maybe poison the scallops or something. Or the cod parfait. Or loin, or whatever it is. “The default position is no deal. Endangering the functioning of the EU is not preferable to no-deal,” said a French source, who did not want to be identified maybe because he is allergic to macadamia nuts and was risking his life being at the dinner.

Sanders Says Americans Can Afford Socialized Health Care Despite 22 Trillion Debt

Debt shmebt, says Bernie Sanders, Presidential Contender. He thinks taxpayers can afford more taxes and thinks this will solve a lot of healthcare problems. His argument is that Americans already pay trillions for healthcare to private insurers and the government, so adding a little more should make things better. An entirely government-run health care scheme would shift costs onto the federal government, but what he didn’t mention is that the federal government gets its money from people who pay taxes. Instead of paying for this by cutting spending somewhere, as that is impossible and government can never cut spending anywhere, he wants a 4% tax on employees, and a 7.5% tax on employers, a tax that gets passed down to employees anyway, so we’re talking about an 11.5% tax on everyone that will probably get bigger and bigger as the costs of fully state-controlled healthcare increase as it demands more and more money to prevent it from collapse. (NYSEARCA:XLV)

Black Hole Sun, Won’t You Come, and New Human Species

We have our first picture of a black hole, a fuzzy yellow-orange haze around a creamy black center 6.5 billion times the mass of the sun that looks like a cosmic doughnut reminiscent of photos of Bigfoot taken by photographers lost in the woods somewhere, except this time it’s in space.

In other exciting human progress news not involving fuzzy orange Bigfoot doughnuts, paleontologists discovered what they think is a new human species that stood upright, bred with other human species, and still had feet that could grip branches like a gorilla. They know this from 7 teeth and 6 small bones. Named homo luzonesis and discovered in a cave in the Philippines, the find dates back to about 50,000 years according to radioactive dating and rewrites human evolutionary history.


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